Festival season – it’s all fun and games until you look at the set times and realize every single act you want it to be playing at the same time. Until the power to clone ourselves becomes reality rather than sci-fi fantasy, there are some tough choices ahead this summer, not least at Glastonbury’s big return this weekend. As you get ready to fall out with your friends over who to watch when, we’ve rounded up some of the most frustrating clashes to get mulling over before you arrive at Worthy Farm.
Griff vs Wet Leg
When: 2pm – John Peel Stage vs 2pm The Park Stage
It’s the battle of the hotly-tipped new artists. In one corner, former BRITs Rising Star winner Griff. In the other, the buzziest breakthrough band in recent memory, Wet Leg. The choice here, really, lies between singing along to big pop anthems with a dark heart or pogoing to addictive post-punk that’ll be lodged in your brain for the rest of the weekend.
Supergrass vs Horsegirl
When: 5:15 pm – Pyramid Stage vs 5:30 pm William’s Green
One of the brilliant things about Glastonbury is the sheer range of artists on offer – from established legends to acts just starting to make a name for themselves. Friday afternoon makes you take your pick between one or the other – Britpop icons Supergrass, who’ve been turning back the years with sets celebrating their stacked back catalog, or Horsegirl, one of the most exciting new bands picking up steam so far this year and making their Glastonbury debut.
Billie Eilish vs Foals vs Little Simz
When: 10:15 pm – Pyramid Stage vs 10:30 pm – Other Stage vs 10:15 pm – West Holts Stage
The first great headliner clash of Glastonbury 2022 gives us three options: watch history be made, head to a party-starting set and celebrate life with one of the best bands in the country, or witness one of Britain’s finest modern stars at work. It’s a toughie, but there’s a consolation in the fact that no matter which choice you make, you’ll be treated to something absolutely spectacular.
Sampa The Great vs Sofia Court
When: 3:15 pm – The Park Stage vs 3:30 pm – Sonic
The dance stages at Glastonbury are always filled with sounds to get you moving whether its 3pm or 3am, as you’ll discover if you head over to Sonic on Saturday afternoon for a set from Peruvian producer Sofia Kourtesis. At the same time on the Park Stage, though, Zambian rapper Sampa The Great will be delivering a performance of her poetic, powerful hip-hop that’s helped her become a beloved cult hero.
Haim vs Glass Animals
When: 5:30 pm – Pyramid Stage vs 5:15 pm – Other Stage
Two of indie-pop’s biggest hitters go head-to-head on Glastonbury’s biggest stages this year, with Haim and Glass Animals’ sets unfortunately overlapping. Whether you park up in front of the Pyramid or Other stages, you’ll be treated to big summer anthems and guitar-backed hooks aplenty, but the cheeky banter of Haim might just win out.
Paul McCartney vs Megan Thee Stallion vs Jamie T
When: 9:30 pm – Pyramid Stage vs 10:30 pm – Other Stage vs 10:30 pm John Peel Stage
Perhaps the worst headliner clash of Glastonbury 2022, Saturday night comes with a stonker of a dilemma. Over on the John Peel Stage is the return of one of British indie’s best and most beloved artists putting on what will arguably be the most fitting set when it comes to setting the tone for a rowdy Saturday before you head off into the festival’s party zone. On the Other Stage, the new queen of US rap comes to collect her crown in what will surely foreshadow an eventual bill-topping slot on the Pyramid in the near future, while on the Pyramid Stage there’s only a bloody beatle playing. Macca always brings the bangers to his gigs – whether that’s Fab Four sing-a-longs like ‘Love Me Do’ and ‘Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da’, or his own solo anthems like ‘Fuh You’ – and his set will be a slightly belated celebration of his 80th birthday.
Clairo vs Nubya Garcia
When: 3:30 pm – John Peel Stage vs 3:30 pm – West Holts Stage
On her second album ‘Sling’, Clairo took on the world of Laurel Canyon folk and twisted it into her own gentle indie. The results will make for a perfect Sunday afternoon performance, soothing you back to life as the weekend’s final throes draw near. Jazz star Nubya Garcia, meanwhile, offers a different kind of revivifying power, the smooth sax of ‘The Message Continues’ and’ Source”s soft rhythms giving a great pick-me-up.
Diana Ross vs Fontaines DC
When: 4pm – Pyramid Stage vs 4:30 pm – Other Stage
The legends slot on a Sunday afternoon is always one of the must-see moments of any Glastonbury and this year will be no different when Diana Ross rocks up the Pyramid, an arsenal of anthems in tow. Unfortunately, she clashes with Fontaines DC – crowned Best Band In The World at the NME Awards 2022 – giving us the tough dilemma of choosing a bona fide superstar or kings of the current indie crop at the peak of their game.
Kendrick Lamar vs Pet Shop Boys
When: 9:45 pm – Pyramid Stage vs 9:40 pm – Other Stage
Glastonbury keeps the clashes coming until the big finale on Sunday night, forcing us to make a decision between a rap icon and synth-pop heroes. On the one hand, Kendrick Lamar’s set feels destined to be one of those moments in an artist’s career that people talk about in reverent tones, and it’s bound to be full of unpredictable, awesome highlights. On the other, Pet Shop Boys have so many legendary hits on their set will be a perfect high to close the weekend out on.